I remember waiting for the world to end in Y2K. Midnight hit and everything was the same. The first thing I did when I got back to my apartment that night was turn on my computer and it worked just fine. I really feel for those sushi restaurants that named themselves after such an uneventful moment. Sushi Y2K.....oh yeah, nothing happened. Planes did not fall out of the sky and every computer in the world didn't fail. Some of the worst things that happened was 150 slot machines stopped working at the racetracks in Delaware and the U.S. Naval Observatory, which runs the master clock that keeps the USA's official time, gave the date on its website as Jan. 1, 19100.
But now 2012 is here. This is going to be it for sure! There are so many theories floating around out there that this is going to be our last year.
Here is a link to a great video from a guy at Nasa that explains many of the false theories:
http://www.space.com/12564-days-2012-nasa-scientist.html
(On a side note. If you want your brain to explode and have an hour to spare, there is another theory about 2012 out there. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2395498051948678069 Terence McKenna - Alien DreamTime I cannot even try to explain what he is saying or trying to describe.You have to be pretty openminded to understand or to even watch this video.)
Let's pretend that December 21, 2012 is going to be the end of the world. Or even better, let's pretend that 2012 is going to be a great year of transformation for humanity. What do I want to accomplish in my last days? What do I want to do to make the next 12 months stand out in my timeline?
I have made a list.
I want:
- to do a backbend, a handstand and a headstand. Need a healthy spine.
- to read at least 12 books. More would be better but let's start with 12.
- to travel to Europe with my wonderful husband, Craig.
- to participate in the Easter Seals Drop Zone in September. I will have to raise at least $1500 to do this, so be prepared to be asked for sponsorship.
- to improve my cardio health.
- to have a Mysore practice of at least 3 times a week.
- to spend more time with my family.
- to complete at least one of my home reno projects.
- to lose another 20 pounds.
I am sure that throughout this year this list will change and grow. But this is what I have so far.
It is going to be a great year!
"Do it! Do it now!"
Happy New Year!!!!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Do Your Dharma!
My morning alarm rings and I hit snooze at least three times. Slowly and reluctantly I roll out of bed, the the backs and bottoms of my feet so painfully stiff that I can hardly stand. Being careful not to look in the mirror, I put on the only pair of pants that fit me and a big hoodie to hide the jelly roll. Avoiding all the mirrors in the house is a difficult task because I have collected so many gold framed ones over the years. But I have an image in my mind of the way I look, and that is not what the figure in the mirror looks like at all.
Sitting at the breakfast table with my family, I can hardly keep my eyes open while I down the first of today's many coffees. It will give me a little boost to leave the house and get to work. I am going to be late again and I really don't care. Driving to my dead-end job, I have to keep the inside of the car cool and take care not to play any soothing music or else I will fall asleep. I put the local morning show on the radio so my annoyance with local, provincial and federal politics will keep me awake.
When I finally get to work, I plop down at my desk and get my slouch on, resting my chin on my left palm with my elbow propped up on the desk. I down another extra large coffee with three cream and three sugar like it's water, after 40 days of wandering in the desert. This is how I will stay for the next 8 hours, only moving to get more coffee, get lunch or slightly move my hand to answer the phone. I have zero motivation and am a slave to my internal mind chatter all day, which is the only part of me that doesn't tire out.
This is how I lived my life for almost two years.
I was pre-diabetic, overweight and had a hypo-thyroid. Being in this state of health really tried to slow me down but I still kept the pace up. Working, volunteering, partying, planning, teaching and parenting. I didn't get the message to slow down because I was too busy not slowing down. There was a battle in my body that I had no idea was happening.
I tried to loose weight with commercial diet plans, counting calories, cardio and raw food. Nothing worked! Of course not, I had a slow thyroid which controls your metabolism. Slow thyroid equals slow metabolism.
I could not concentrate because my mind was so cloudy. The fog was slowly making me crazy. I would beat myself up inside, telling myself that I was lazy cause I couldn't stay awake or that I was regressing to my teenaged years because I had no motivation. The internal slapping myself in the face while I lived in my car driving to a bunch of activities I didn't want to do. The voice of Sri K Pattabhi Jois, "Everyone can practice yoga, except lazy people" pouring on the guilt that I couldn't wake up to do my yoga practice.
Depression was starting to settle in and I was fully aware of it. The constant negative mind chatter became the normal and I was fully aware of it. The pounds of fat adding inches to my waistline and I was fully aware of it. The anger I felt and expressed was overwhelming because I was fully aware of what was happening to me. There was one thing I had to do to stop all of this and I was fully aware of it. My attachment to this unfulfilling life was strong. I wanted to stay in this rut because at least I knew it kept a roof over my head and food on my table.
I held on to this life with all my might and I would have done it for many more years. Finally God took over and dealt a card that ended the game. It was the choice I was looking for....it was the sign I was waiting for......I knew what I had to do and this time I did it. I had to choose between taking a job at work that would have continued my attachment to the this wrong life or get laid off. Knowing with my whole being that it was the right thing to do, I decided to get laid off.
This started a huge domino effect on all my decisions. I looked at things differently. No I was not going to that thing in the desert because I felt like I had to complete a project that I could no longer support. Instead I am going to stay home to support my son and his new journey into grade one. No I am not going to support a community of people that consistently trampled on me over the past five years. Instead I am going support my family and watch them grow in confidence and love over a lifetime. No I am not going to do a job just to bring home the bread and butter. Instead I am going to do my Dharma....do what I am meant to do. That is to teach yoga and critical alignment therapy.
This has made all the difference. I have lost more than 30 pounds, no longer pre-diabetic, healed my thyroid and am closer to my family. By not fulfilling my Dharma, I was slowly killing myself. Now I feel alive, loved and connected to my True Self. By listening and making that leap of faith I have come into a life of happiness that I only used to read about in my yoga books. It is there and it can exist. Listen to the whispers of the Divine. If you choose not to listen those whispers will become louder. If you still choose not to listen instead making your mind chatter louder to drowned out the messages, the Divine will turn your world upside down. Making it very uncomfortable for you until you listen.
Do your Dharma!!!! You know what it is. Listen!
Sitting at the breakfast table with my family, I can hardly keep my eyes open while I down the first of today's many coffees. It will give me a little boost to leave the house and get to work. I am going to be late again and I really don't care. Driving to my dead-end job, I have to keep the inside of the car cool and take care not to play any soothing music or else I will fall asleep. I put the local morning show on the radio so my annoyance with local, provincial and federal politics will keep me awake.
When I finally get to work, I plop down at my desk and get my slouch on, resting my chin on my left palm with my elbow propped up on the desk. I down another extra large coffee with three cream and three sugar like it's water, after 40 days of wandering in the desert. This is how I will stay for the next 8 hours, only moving to get more coffee, get lunch or slightly move my hand to answer the phone. I have zero motivation and am a slave to my internal mind chatter all day, which is the only part of me that doesn't tire out.
This is how I lived my life for almost two years.
I was pre-diabetic, overweight and had a hypo-thyroid. Being in this state of health really tried to slow me down but I still kept the pace up. Working, volunteering, partying, planning, teaching and parenting. I didn't get the message to slow down because I was too busy not slowing down. There was a battle in my body that I had no idea was happening.
I tried to loose weight with commercial diet plans, counting calories, cardio and raw food. Nothing worked! Of course not, I had a slow thyroid which controls your metabolism. Slow thyroid equals slow metabolism.
I could not concentrate because my mind was so cloudy. The fog was slowly making me crazy. I would beat myself up inside, telling myself that I was lazy cause I couldn't stay awake or that I was regressing to my teenaged years because I had no motivation. The internal slapping myself in the face while I lived in my car driving to a bunch of activities I didn't want to do. The voice of Sri K Pattabhi Jois, "Everyone can practice yoga, except lazy people" pouring on the guilt that I couldn't wake up to do my yoga practice.
Depression was starting to settle in and I was fully aware of it. The constant negative mind chatter became the normal and I was fully aware of it. The pounds of fat adding inches to my waistline and I was fully aware of it. The anger I felt and expressed was overwhelming because I was fully aware of what was happening to me. There was one thing I had to do to stop all of this and I was fully aware of it. My attachment to this unfulfilling life was strong. I wanted to stay in this rut because at least I knew it kept a roof over my head and food on my table.
I held on to this life with all my might and I would have done it for many more years. Finally God took over and dealt a card that ended the game. It was the choice I was looking for....it was the sign I was waiting for......I knew what I had to do and this time I did it. I had to choose between taking a job at work that would have continued my attachment to the this wrong life or get laid off. Knowing with my whole being that it was the right thing to do, I decided to get laid off.
This started a huge domino effect on all my decisions. I looked at things differently. No I was not going to that thing in the desert because I felt like I had to complete a project that I could no longer support. Instead I am going to stay home to support my son and his new journey into grade one. No I am not going to support a community of people that consistently trampled on me over the past five years. Instead I am going support my family and watch them grow in confidence and love over a lifetime. No I am not going to do a job just to bring home the bread and butter. Instead I am going to do my Dharma....do what I am meant to do. That is to teach yoga and critical alignment therapy.
This has made all the difference. I have lost more than 30 pounds, no longer pre-diabetic, healed my thyroid and am closer to my family. By not fulfilling my Dharma, I was slowly killing myself. Now I feel alive, loved and connected to my True Self. By listening and making that leap of faith I have come into a life of happiness that I only used to read about in my yoga books. It is there and it can exist. Listen to the whispers of the Divine. If you choose not to listen those whispers will become louder. If you still choose not to listen instead making your mind chatter louder to drowned out the messages, the Divine will turn your world upside down. Making it very uncomfortable for you until you listen.
Do your Dharma!!!! You know what it is. Listen!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Life is Suffering
I discovered Buddhism before Ashtanga Yoga. The simple messages of the Buddha appealed to me after 12 years of Catholic school and several years as a born again Christian. My mother was very committed to the church and my family were all involved at church; sister played in the band at mass and all my brothers were altar boys. Spirituality has been modelled for me in many different ways.
The first Noble Truth of Buddhism, life is suffering, hit home after being divorced at 22. But it wasn't until I hit my 30s did it really make sense to me. The simplicity of Life is Suffering states the obvious which can get your mind away from your life's drama for even one second. When the mind quiets maybe you can connect to that inner light that lives in all of us. This cannot not be forced...it just happens. And it may only last a few seconds or minutes. The the drama returns....the tragedy begins again. You get distracted by life. But a small tunnel to this inner light has remained open and a new awareness has been sparked. Now you know you are distracted and you know the little things you do to stay in the unaware state. Over time this grows if you nurture it and do practices to support it.
This scene from Eclipse can distract me and yes it is suffering.
The first Noble Truth of Buddhism, life is suffering, hit home after being divorced at 22. But it wasn't until I hit my 30s did it really make sense to me. The simplicity of Life is Suffering states the obvious which can get your mind away from your life's drama for even one second. When the mind quiets maybe you can connect to that inner light that lives in all of us. This cannot not be forced...it just happens. And it may only last a few seconds or minutes. The the drama returns....the tragedy begins again. You get distracted by life. But a small tunnel to this inner light has remained open and a new awareness has been sparked. Now you know you are distracted and you know the little things you do to stay in the unaware state. Over time this grows if you nurture it and do practices to support it.
This scene from Eclipse can distract me and yes it is suffering.
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