I am a Stepping Stone

I am trying to get comfortable with the idea that I am a stepping stone to many people in my life. Now try not to think that I am saying that I get stepped on or trampled on. I don't tolerate that and make my feelings known if that sort of thing is happening. You know like bullying. I had my fill in school and now know better because of those incidents a long time ago. I mean that when people meet me, they will get really close and when they get their fill, grow within themselves or are satisfied they are in a certain place, then they move into a different type of relationship with me. This usually means they become an acquaintance or someone I will only see once a month. I would like to think that they will come back one day but this rarely, if not never, happens.
Much of my day is spent wondering what I did or said to them to make them go away. Recently, I have been attempting to make this very unproductive and damaging thought process more positive and soothing. So that maybe one day it will dissipate completely. A very difficult practice.....harder than Marichyasana D. Well for me at least. It leaves me gasping for air with my hands bound behind my back. All the while, trying to hold the Fourth Bandha. Smile!

Reflecting on this thought process, I was reminded of a very enlightening blog by James Altucher, "How to Deal With Crappy People". In his blog he defines the four types of people for a friend that has Asperger's Syndrome which means she has difficultly reading social cues in people and responding to them in the 'correct' way. 


James' four types are people are as follows:
1. Happy People
2. People in Pain
3. Good People
4. Crappy People


The people I attract are in category number two, People in Pain. He goes on to point out that the '...unhappy people can easily turn into category #4. You always have to protect yourself first. Be compassionate but keep your boundaries. Your goal is your own peace of mind throughout the day, so you can focus on your own success....". This is where I fall short. I tend to give to much of myself and lose a good chunk of myself to these people. When I withdrawal after realizing what I have done, they tend to move to category #4. This story has been repeated many times in my life. This is a wheel that gets turned again and again. 
I must stop this or embrace it. 
I have tried to stop these types of relationships from happening and they still happen. No matter what steps are taken to prevent the detachment or even not giving into the friendship and staying detached from the beginning, the acquaintance stage will happen again and again.
So I have decided to embrace this role of being a stepping stone. This will involve many hours of Svadhyaya, Self Study, to cultivate a self awareness to protect myself. And I will have to embody Satya, a commitment to truthfulness. I am not budging on my beliefs, practices or self preservation. People will come and go. I will always be here when they decided to take to return to the path or if they need a small fill up. 
How is this different then what I have been doing already? Well it's taking James' words to heart. I will be compassionate but keeping my boundaries. Don't give myself fully. Self preservation. SELF.....True Self preservation. Embody my practice and be an example. 


"Lots of people like to be seeking God, but not too many want to actually get there". Ram Dass